The People Pleaser Club

 
Are you a card carrying member of the People Pleaser Club? Is it of utmost importance in your daily life that everyone around you be happy and satisfied with everything that you do? Every decision that you make is based upon what other people may think or feel about you? I used to be this way. I would knock myself out trying to please people and of course people have a bottomless pit of please me now and you can never fill it no matter how hard you try. But, try I would. Every time someone asked me to do something, I would do it. No matter how tired or busy I was, I would put myself and my needs and wants on the back burner and run to that persons aid. We are supposed to be our brother's keeper, the Word tells us to be kind and loving to people and to have a servant mentality like He did but, that doesn't mean that we are to be doormats and let people use us.

When we continually try to please people, we end up not pleasing God and this is where we must draw the line. The Apostle Paul asked this question in Galatians 1:10, "Am I now trying to win the approval of human beings, or of God? Or am I trying to please people? If I were still trying to please people, I would not be a servant of Christ. See we have to put God first and everything else will fall into place. We can't base our lives and it's happiness on the approval of others. Joyce Myer wrote a book called Approval Addiction and in this book she says, "Whatever people think of us is between them and God and not our concern." You see when we seek to please God, it shouldn't matter to us what other people think about us. Yes, we want to live peaceably with all people as the Word tells us to do and we want to be kind to people and help people but, it shouldn't be our primary concern. When God told Abraham get up and go to a land that I will show you, if Abraham had been a people pleaser instead of a God pleaser, he never would have taken the first step. He left his homeland and everything familiar to him just because God said to do it, and because of His obedience God made him the father of many nations. The Word says of Abraham that he was the friend of God, now that is a wonderful thing to be the friend of God. All because he heard God's voice, believed God and did what He said to do.

I have seen many families that have been called to the mission field and they would tell their families and their families would start with the, "Oh it is so dangerous over there." "Oh I don't think you should go there." "Are you sure you heard from the Lord?" "I don't think you and the children will be safe there." and so on. Then some of these families had to just separate themselves from those family members and move forward with what God was telling them to do. When God is in complete control of your life and He sits on the throne of your life as Lord, He is running the show, not us. He will lead you and guide you where He wants you to go and to say what He wants you to say. We can't be overly concerned with what people say or do for that matter and by doing so totally miss what God has for you.

This has been a hard road for me, I will just tell you. I had been a people pleaser for so long I couldn't make a decision without someone telling me what to do. I was so used to pleasing everyone around me, I didn't even know how to please my own self. Being a servant is one thing, but, being a doormat and being used up is quite another. Sometimes even in church work you have to say, I am sorry, I just can't do that. I have such a full schedule already, I just can't take on anything else. When you are already doing what God has called you to do, sometimes you just can't do anything else. Yes, church work is God's work but, He calls us to do specific things at times and we can't abandon what He is saying to do, to do something else just because someone wants us to. When we do that, we get ourselves into nothing but misery. You will begin to feel taken for granted because you are doing more than you need to be doing and you aren't doing what you are called to do.

I say all the time, every good idea, is not a God idea, and what I mean by that is simply this: Someone can come up with a wonderful idea, it will be a good ministry and it will reach people and sounds so wonderful and you jump right in with both feet and right in the middle of it the Lord will say, I didn't call you to do this. Yes, it is a good idea for someone to do this, it is just not what I have for you to do. So when we allow the Lord to order our steps and start our day out with Him and get the plan for the day, we will not be running willy nilly trying to please everyone. He will show you want His plan is for the day and if you will follow that plan, you will stay on the path that He wants you to be on. Lay down the people pleasing mentality and say from now on I am going to please God at all cost. No matter what anyone says or does, I will please the Lord. Isn't this what Joshua said in essence when he said as for me and my house, we will serve the Lord. He didn't say as for me and my house we will do what everyone wants us to do!

 Every morning before I get out of bed, I have a talk with the Lord, He will share things with me. Like what to write, who to talk to that day, maybe someone to pray for, etc. and then I begin my day. Before I ever put my feet on the floor, I say out loud to God, let the words of my mouth and the meditation of my heart be acceptable and pleasing in thy sight oh Lord my strength and my Redeemer. I added the pleasing part because I don't want to just be accepted by Him, I want to be pleasing. I want Him to say about me, that I listen to His voice and then I do what He instructs me to do. The people pleasing days are over, thanks be to God and now I am free to fully and in an unencumbered way follow after Him with my whole heart. Here are some other scriptures about pleasing God rather than pleasing people for further study on the subject: 1 Thessalonians 2:4, Proverbs 29:25, John 12:43, Acts 5:29, Isaiah 2:22, Colossians 3:23, 2 Corinthians 5:9, Galatians 2:20, Romans 12:1-2 just to name a few, there are so many.  Happy studying, and remember it is better to please God than man.