When fretful thoughts keep you awake

For the last several days I have just been on a cleaning frenzy. I really don't know why or understand what has been my pressing need to clean and organize and do, do, do but I have felt almost an urgency to get all of these things done. I actually wore myself out for 3 days in a row just cleaning and straightening, and adjusting and organizing as if I were expecting that some super OCD fairy was coming with her white gloves to inspect my living space.

I did all of my clothing laundry one day and cooked and straightened and organized and felt like I just wasn't doing enough. I don't know why I felt that way but I did. No matter how much I got done, every single time that I sat down I would see all that still needed to be done or actually things that I wanted to get done instead of seeing all that I had already accomplished. The next day I laundered all of the bed linens and bath mats, and kitchen rugs and so forth and swept and mopped and vacuumed and organized some more and still I really didn't feel like I had gotten as much done in my day as I should have. I just couldn't seem to allow myself to feel a sense of accomplishment and when I finally did lie down to go to sleep, I had a million thoughts bombarding me of things that I need to get done. I need to do this and that and I really need to get that finished and I really should have, this that and the other so much in fact that I was up at 3:45 am realizing that I had only slept like 20 minutes and was wide awake. So, I talked to the Lord and finally drifted off to sleep and was up again just a little while later and once again up and down and prayed and asleep.

After I got up this morning I began to think more on purpose about why have I been feeling this way for the last few days? Why have I felt like I just had to do this or that and felt pressed as if I don't have enough time in my day to get all of these things done. I finally figured out that although I don't have a husband here with me to expect certain chores to be done or a hot meal on the table at a certain time and although I no longer have my kids in my home with me to cook for and launder clothing for or any of those things, I still feel a pressing need to be busy all of the time. I feel like I am purposely giving myself busy work to keep from dealing with something and sure enough I remembered that I had dreamed something and had woken up with a knowing that I have had something bothering me for a while and it is something that needs to be dealt with and although it might not be well received I am going to have to have a conversation about this uncomfortable thing that has been bothering me, causing me to be super hyper and feel the need to stay busy continually and is now showing up in my dreams.

Someone, well actually a couple of someone's hurt my feelings really badly a few years back. I never felt like I had a voice at the time to tell them how they made me feel and why. I never felt like my feelings were even considered and I have so wanted to tell them that I truly did not appreciate being dismissed as if from class. Now that I have recognized what the problem is I realize within myself that the dealing of the said problem may in and of itself cause another problem. So....do I keep running in circles like a dog chasing it's tail? or do I head on on purpose attempt to deal with the emotions and feelings that are actually much more raw than I had realized? I choose to face the problem head on, I choose to not allow this situation to keep me up at night and bother me this badly. I choose to attempt to put my feelings into words and come to some sort of understanding with the ones that hurt me.

The word tells us that the Lord is near to the broken hearted, He is never more real in our lives than when we are wounded, have our feelings hurt, when we feel unnecessary or even an after thought in people's lives. He is with us, His name in and off itself means God with us and that He is God with us, He is for us and He loves us inexplicably and completely and His love is enough. His love has been enough for such a very long time. Emmanuel God with us. I am so grateful and humbled by the fact that He is with me. Every day, through every trial, every hurt, every tiny detail of my life, He is there. No matter who leaves, He is there. No matter what happens, He is still there. He is the peace that passes all understanding. I expect to sleep tonight knowing that I am in good hands and He is the way maker, and has called us to be instruments of His peace. I will lie down in peace and safety knowing that He is my Shepherd and He cares for me. I will cast my cares upon Him and go into a peaceful and sound sleep. No more fretting, no more overachieving, no more running around doing this or that and no more condemnation when I feel like I am not enough, or I am too much or I haven't done enough or maybe I have done too much. I will know tonight when I lie down that He is all I will ever need and He is the fixer of problems. He is the Rewarder of those that diligently seek Him and I have been seeking Him my whole life in one way or another. I have found Him and He truly is the lover of my soul and I know that He is working all things out for my good. No more anxious thoughts, not tonight, I will sleep and arise refreshed in the morning.

The View From The Father's Lap

 
Today it started raining and my little dog began to get really upset. Of course, as we all know, dogs can hear so much better than we can and for them it truly isn't always a blessing. Sounds are magnified and sound so incredibly scary to them. So, in these times when I see that my lil' Angel Baby is becoming distressed I pick her up and comfort her.

Today as the winds began to blow and get louder, I picked her up and began to talk to her. Oh baby girl, it's only the rain. The rain isn't going to hurt you, it is just a sound honey, it can't hurt you, come to me, and she came over to me and put her paws on my leg and I picked her up and as we both looked out the window of my third story bedroom window, I said see? see? it's just rain, it can't hurt you. I am here, see? we are way up here looking down on the rain and it can't hurt you and as I spoke comforting words to my sweet lil' canine companion, the Spirit of the Lord said to me, do you hear the words that you speak? yes Lord, I hear what you are saying to me. I am above it all, I am seated with you in Heavenly places and although right now I have some scary things happening to me, I know that I am in your lap, I can see over all of this and I know that you will not let anything harm me. I know that you love me, I know that you look beyond my faults and see my incredible and desperate need for you.

As the calming effects of these words washed over both me and my lil' Angel Baby. I began to sing to the Lord thank you, thank you, thank you God for allowing me to see over it all and to realize that you have not left me in the middle of my mess and you will forever love me and help me and defend and protect me. No matter what comes or goes, you are the one and only CONSTANT thing in my life. Jesus, lover of my soul, protector of my heart, I need you today more than yesterday. I will no longer try to be tough girl, and pretend as if nothing is wrong and that I am ok. I am not ok, but you are with me and you are in complete and total control and you know what is best for me. Sometimes on this faith walk you run into folks like the friends of Job that seem to think that if you are a person of faith that you shouldn't have bad days. That you shouldn't get concerned and for sure should never be sick or discouraged. They seem to think that it shows a lack of faith or that you have committed some terrible sin or you wouldn't be going through this. Oh my my no! I have faith for days. I have boxes of faith that have yet to be opened. I have a surplus of faith in this great God that I serve. Faith is not the issue, faith is not the problem. As far as the sin goes, if God brought something on me every time I sinned, I would already be worm dirt, real talk folks. No sometimes things just happen.

Sometimes in this life, we find ourselves in the midst of a storm that is just going to run it's course and that is all there is to it. I believe that I will come out on the other side of the storm in tact, ALIVE and well. I don't just have the kind of love for God that rejoices only in joy and triumph, I have the kind of love for God that knows that no matter what happens to me in this life, I will love Him and He will never stop loving me and He will always be right here with me, reaching down and pulling me to His lap, even if it's just to say, see? see? it's just rain, it's just noise, you are not in danger. I am here with you, I will not allow any harm to come to you. It's just rain, just noise, all is well............

Time Out For Meditation

 
As a Christ follower I find it disturbing that now in many of our public schools yoga exercises and middle Eastern meditation is being introduced to control the children. Time out and trips to the disciplinarian aka the Principal are becoming a thing of the past. So now children are being directed to sit on a mat on the floor, get into a yoga stance and meditate, or better yet to sit on top of their desks, oh what fun!There is a blending of the practices of Hindu Yoga, coloring and meditation and focusing on mandalas to achieve inner peace. Yet the word of God and prayer to God has been removed from the equation. First the mandalas are just circles and then other objects are introduced like goddesses and so forth and little mantras for the kids to use during their meditation times, i.e. I am a pond, I am a pond, I am a pond, my only job is to watch the fish go by, I am a pond. Really? What in the world? The last time I checked ponds become stagnant and can get pretty nasty. So by all means let's have our little ones saying over and over and over again, I am a pond, I am a pond, I am a pond. Then when and if they go to church they are taught I am a river, out of my belly flow rivers of living water and then confusion occurs. Can anyone see this? Confusion and chaos are not of God.

As the children are older they are taught to focus on their third eye or inner self to achieve ultimate peace and rest. Since the Dalai Llama has been quoted as saying if every 8 year old child were taught to meditate we could end violence in one generation, well one thing is for sure you would end all resistance to forcing middle eastern practices on our kids. Yes you can achieve some form of peace but not true peace from God. Just because someone teaches you how to self induce a trance and you can feel a peaceful feeling doesn't mean that you have acquired inner peace. Jesus said before He ascended back to Heaven, my peace I leave with you, not as the world gives but my peace I give to you. Do you see? There is some form of other peace or He wouldn't have said it that way. The peace that comes from God is inexplicable, no chanting or mantras needed. No bowing down to a statue or Buddha, no need to be a pond or a star or a cloud or any of the other things that they are telling our children to become.

They are being taught the Koran, leaving out of course all references to killing of anyone that is not Muslim, we wouldn't want to frighten anyone of course and teachers for the most part are on board because they are so frustrated trying to get children to behave, to sit still long enough to learn anything and to be quiet so that at least other children can learn. Well.....here is my take on the situation when parents and teachers agree and respect one another and parents are making their children to be obedient at home, there is little need for trips to the principals office or timeout.

I have friends and family members that are teachers and they face many many obstacles every year because they have unruly children that they just can't seem to reach. They create as much chaos in the classroom as possible and the teacher's are left frazzled at the end of the day. Again, if parents were doing their jobs at home, this scenario would not continue to play out in the classrooms across this country. I am not a teacher in schools but I have been a teacher in children's ministry for years upon years and I also have encountered kids that were so unruly and behaved so badly that upon first sight you would think that the child was possessed with the devil, real talk but once I explained the rules, yes we have rules and explained to them that their behavior would not be tolerated, and that they would be removed from any snack or fun activity if their behavior did not change, almost immediately behavior modification occurred.

I didn't mistreat the child, I just let them know who was in charge and that I was not afraid of them and that they were not in charge. So many children are completely in charge at home and so therefore when they attend church and school or any outside activity they have a complete come apart when they do not get their way. This behavior never straightens out on it's own. Children must have boundaries and when they don't, bad behavior takes over completely. Then you see frustrated parents, grandparents and yes teachers.

So, now someone thought that introducing children to middle eastern religion would be the answer and it seems from all of the many articles that I have read and videos I have seen on the subject that everyone is so pleased because the children are responding so well to this new practice. Sure, brainwashing has been used for years and continues today in every facet of life. Sure, if you have someone sit on the floor, get into an odd configuration and begin to chant or meditate and repeat certain mantras over and over and over and over again, sure, you will become in a trance like state. I for one don't want to lose control of my faculties in such a practice and I am having a really hard time understanding why any Christian parent or teacher would think that this is ok. I guess it is out of desperation. They are saying oh the mantras and meditation have such a calming effect on the children, well....so does xanax but we don't want that administered do we?

The children are introduced in the beginning to Om, which is considered a mystic syllable, and revered as the most sacred mantra in many eastern religions. Educators have been heard to say, once the children are lost in meditation, they are much more peaceful and restful and easier to teach. Did you catch that?, lost in meditation. They are less aggravated and agitated. Om, well excuse me, pun intended of course you have taught them how to self induce a trance, I suppose they are more easy to control at that point. Parents, teachers please hear me today. I am not saying that we shouldn't have an open mind,but not so open that our brains falls out!


I see homeschooling parents taking lots of flack and all manner of hateful remarks being hurled their way because they choose to school their children at home in a God loving and safe environment. I praise God for the homeschooling parents. I say my hat is off to you forever!!! You are brave, you are taking full responsibility for your children's education and you are keeping them safe. Thank you God for parents that can and will do this. I know that everyone cannot do this but if at all possible, it really is a great idea. Due to all of the demonic things that our children and grandchildren are facing in the public school system.

Well.....once prayer and Bible reading were taken out of the schools citing that we need to separate church and state. We need to keep religion out of the public school system,they said and many people bought into that lie and took the bait and switch and now we have Hinduism, Buddhism, Taoism and many many other forms of religion present in schools today and all of the practices that go with that but although diversity is being preached and inclusiveness not one mention of our Creator, so how inclusive can it really be? How balanced can it be when God is left complete out of the equation? I am sure I will have some folks get mad at me, say that I am old fashioned, closed minded among other things but I don't really care. This came from the office upstairs and I am just relaying the message in my own words so I am cool with losing friends or whatever. That being said and those that know me knew that was the preface for the real clincher! which is this: Dance with the devil if you want to but eventually you will have to pay the band and it is a very high price. Christians are called dogmatic, unfeeling, unrelenting, closed minded but what is so strange and funny about that is noone seems to be shocked when Buddhists, Taoists, Hindus do not practice Christianity. Noone tells them that they are being too rigid, or dogmatic in their religious practices.

Why are Christians being singled out? I can tell you why there is power in the blood and the name of Jesus Christ and when He enters a situation there is no one beside Him or higher than Him or even equal to Him. He is all that is needed and the enemy knows this so he brings confusion and other doctrines of devils to confuse people into believing that all roads lead to Heaven and all is well when it is not well at all. Hear me today people exposing our children to these false doctrines in not the answer to behavior problems, the word of God and prayer and leading by example is the answer. Please hear me.

Let's Stop The Divide

This morning is a sad day for some and a jubilant day for others. Some woke to the fact that their beloved candidate didn't win and others woke to the fact that their candidate did win. I guess I am just from the old school of sportsmanship but all I can say is STOP IT!! If your candidate lost, suck it up, pray for our elected leader and move forward. To those that are gloating because your candidate won STOP IT!!!! makes you look foolish and very ignorant!! When I was a kid playing sports we were taught to not just be gracious losers and show good sportsmanship but to also be gracious winners meaning we did not gloat when we won the game.

This is not a time in our country to continue with division and strife. God is on the throne, He is the one that brings people high or sits them down in a low place. When are we going to realize this? God is in complete and total control. Doesn't matter who we have for POTUS, GOD IS IN CONTROL!! Not man, GOD!! We must now pray, pray, pray for each other, pray for our newly elected leader and pray for this country to come together in integrity and in grace and move forward. We can't accomplish anything if we don't get our own lives and priorities together and stop stirring up strife against one another. We are directed in the word of God to pray for our leaders. The word doesn't say pray for the ones you like and leave the others out on a limb without a prayer covering. NOPE!! Here is what the word says:

1 Timothy 2:1-3

1 I exhort therefore, that, first of all, supplications, prayers, intercessions, and giving of thanks, be made for all men;

² For kings, and for all that are in authority; that we may lead a quiet and peaceable life in all godliness and honesty.
³ For this is good and acceptable in the sight of God our Saviour;

Did you catch that? For all that are in authority, so no matter whether we like the leader or not is not in question in this scripture, we are to pray for our authority. So, let's do what God says and then we will be in a position to be pleasing to God.

I have seen some really hateful, rude, disrespectful and completely unnecessary comments being thrown on both sides. Now is the time to stop the foolishness!! Stop acting like little bitty spoiled children and pray for our country. Pray for God's will to be done in this country. Pray for the lil' babies that are still in the womb, pray that they will have a voice, pray that all people will be treated with dignity and decency. Pray that God gets any and all glory from any accomplishments that this country experiences and lets move forward with grace, integrity and the intestinal fortitude it is going to take to conquer the evils that prevail in our world. We shouldn't be fighting against each other. Rather, we should be fighting the good fight of faith and fighting the enemy of our souls.

Ephesians 6:12

¹² For we wrestle not against flesh and blood, but against principalities, against powers, against the rulers of the darkness of this world, against spiritual wickedness in high places.

Donald Trump is not the enemy!! Hillary Clinton is not the enemy!, the enemy of our soul is satan and he would love nothing more than for people to fight against each other and keep the divide ever widening in this country of ours! We are the people of this country. We can make this country what we want it to be with the grace of God and our earnest prayers toward God, seeking His will and His face, not our own will or our own agenda. 

Let's unite today in one thing at least. GOD IS STILL ON THE THRONE!!!  LET'S STOP THE DIVIDE!!

Julia or Martha?

I have always enjoyed cooking. The idea of cooking, watching people cook, learning new things and although now I am considered a chef or as most of my family would say an alright cook, I didn't learn at an early age. My mother was a very good cook and she was very particular about how things were to be done and didn't really want me in the kitchen bothering her in any way. I was a member of the clean up crew but never on the creating crew. I loved watching Julia Child on television and the main reason, as a child, that I loved her is because if something wasn't just perfect she would say oh that is ok, you can fix that. She was, as she called her own self, fearless in the kitchen. When I got married at 18, because I really wasn't the fearless type and had zero experience in cooking, I had a very hard time learning how to do things in the kitchen.

Today I was watching an old episode of Baking with Julia and here was Martha Stewart with her. I looked at the two women and realized although they could both cook exquisite meals and loved the art of cooking, they were so completely different. Julia was about the experience of cooking and eating, not worrying about making mistakes. If you make a mess, just clean it up, if you burn something, oh well try, try again and Martha has always been be oh so careful about how you do this or that as to not disturb it or make any mistakes. I thought to myself, although, I love Martha to pieces, if she had been on television instead of Julia, I would have never even tried to cook anything. She is indeed a perfectionist.

I am not saying that we shouldn't be careful in how we do things but even though I have been cooking now for a very long time, I still make some horrific mistakes, things get burned, recipes don't turn out just right and that's ok, I will just try, try again. I am now fearless in the kitchen as well. I was very blessed to have worked in the kitchen with some really good cooks and chefs that taught me a whole lot about how to do this or that and were not stingy at all with the knowledge that they had acquired either through experience only or through French Cooking School knowledge. The thing that I find quite hilarious is Julia Child was French Cooking School trained and had a culinary degree, Martha does not and has never been to cooking school but to watch her and to listen to her you would think that she owned the cooking school and taught everyone else and was a Executive Chef Extraordinaire. Titles, don't get the stew cooked, a degree does not a chef make and I have learned over the years to learn and to keep learning. To keep my passion stirred for cooking and to keep a servants heart.

I love to cook and to eat but equally so, I love to watch other people eat, and enjoy their meal. I love to set the table very nice and serve people. Not so they will say oh Priscilla you are fabulous but to  have them enjoy and truly relish what they are eating. Sometimes I tend to gild the lily a little, I suppose but I enjoy trying new things and experimenting with different flavor combinations. Rarely do I ever go exactly by a recipe, unless it is the very first time at a completely different recipe than I have ever tried. Even when I am watching cooking shows I find myself saying oh I would have used Provolone or I wouldn't have put in that much thyme. Cooking for sure is my passion and living alone I don't get to do a whole lot of shall we say impressive cooking but I do try to keep my skills honed and keep my creative juices flowing. Right now in the oven I have carrots, turnips, onions drizzled with olive oil and my own rosemary vinegar roasting in the oven, the whole apartment smells divine.

While I was watching Julia and Martha today I thought isn't that the way we as Christians are some time? We make people think that they have to be perfect to come to Christ, that they have to never ever do or say anything wrong or they just aren't up to par or up to our rigid standards. So in my overthinking which is normal for me, I thought we should all start out as Julia and allow people to learn as they make mistakes and then as they grow in the faith, we will become more like Martha and begin to allow them to become polished as they are growing in their faith and acquiring and growing their spiritual fruit. So.........today as you examine yourself as a Christ follower are you a Julia? or are you a Martha? just a little food for thought, yes pun intended...........

Working On A Building

Lately I have been watching some folks build a building. They started with the foundation and then build outwards. These men have been diligently working on this building now for several weeks and have now got it all framed in and to me it looks quite ugly because what I am looking at is the strength of the building and not the beauty.

 We all know that when the building crew finishes, then the exterior guys will show up to finish what they call the facade. The exterior, what we all will look at and say oh that is a pretty building. After that facade goes up we will no longer be able to see what is on the inside, the strength that makes the building be able to withstand hard storms and the day to day beating of the sun and the wind. We don't see that part because it has now been covered up with the pretty part, the part that everyone wants to see.

Isn't that the way it is in life as well? People want to look on the outside of a strong person and say oh wow! she really has it together, she never seems to sweat or have hard times and if he/she does they really are STRONG!!! That is because they are just looking on the outside, they don't understand what has been built in, on the inside the strength that only comes from the maker, the original designer, the Holy Spirit of God that builds that foundation of truth upon the word of the living God. The word tells us that if the Lord isn't building the house then the ones that are building it are laboring in vain. To be able to withstand the storms of life and to be able to bear good fruit for the Lord, I must allow Him to build my house. Allow Him to furnish it as He sees fit that will bring the most honor and glory to Him.

I'm not too prideful to admit that although I had a really good foundation from Him, I have tried in the past to build my house and do it my way and then when the storms came, it wasn't a pretty sight. He has even had to send in the demolition crew on me a couple of times and tear the building all the way down to the foundation and start back over again. I believe the old-timers called that going back and doing your first works again. Nevertheless now I am allowing Him to build my building inside and out. These days I am for sure more concerned with the fruit that I bear more than I am about the gifts that He gives. I am working on cultivating as much good fruit for Him as I can. I want Him to look at my house and say well built and Wow look at all of those fruit trees!

There's an old bluegrass song called working on a building and I have sang it many many times and loved it all of these years and although at times it may seem repetitious, if you let it minister to you, you will be able to understand that the old timey folks sure had a much better grip on this building thing than we seem to today. Check out this version from YouTube:  Bill Monroe from back in the day.          https://youtu.be/wM3GICtYNAo  I pray today as you are working on your building for the Lord that you consider the fruit trees out front in the yard. They sure do get a whole lot of attention to folks and make them want to work on their building too.

Tears For Rain

 
Psalm 126:5 tell us that they that sow in tears, will reap in joy. The word also tells us in Psalm 56:8 You keep track of all my sorrows. You have collected all my tears in your bottle. You have recorded each one in your book. So..... me being the thinker that I am, I got to thinking about these 2 scriptures and said to myself well if God collects our tears and He does and they that sow in tears shall reap in joy, and they do then I think that our tears could be stored up for when we are in those dry and weary places and He just says let me pour out some rain (tears) because you dear child are now traveling through a dry and dusty place on this journey. 

Apposed to what some T.V. ministers will teach you every day is not your best day and every day is not all joyous and full of wonderful surprises and happiness and love and joy. That is just not true and the word does not bear it out to be true. There are times that we will go through places on our spiritual walk with the Lord that it is just as dry and parched as it can be and we are saying oh Lord help me!!! I need the rain, send down the rain, send down the rain, open the floodgates of Heaven and let it rain. Don't we sing these type of worship songs? But for some reason people still buy into this every day is just a bag full of roses gospel and it is just not so, we find many stories in the word that lets us know that some days are just plain ole tough and it is just us and the Lord and in the midst of these times we may feel lost and alone.

There is a story in the word that tells of the children of Israel after they had left Egypt and were Canaan bound. It's just a little seemingly insignificant story to some but it struck me as quite profound. The story is found in Exodus 15,the story of the bitter waters of Marah. Now God had led them this way and they get here after 3 days without water only to discover that the water is so bitter that they cannot drink it at all. Now wait a minute, am I to understand this? God led them this way? Why? Why in the world would the Lord God lead them this way knowing all along that the waters were bitter? That just don't seem right. Doesn't sound like most of the teaching/preaching I hear so much of but it still is the truth. Sometimes God will lead you through a circumstance that is just bad but He knows that you will come out stronger on the other side. What is so funny to me about this is that earlier in this same chapter they are singing and dancing before the Lord because He had destroyed their enemies and now they are beginning to grumble and gripe because the waters are bitter. Like the same God that had just destroyed their enemies couldn't make the bitter waters sweet?

Isn't that just like us? Oh we love us some Jesus as long as everything is going along just fine. As long as we are healthy and well and wise. As long as our bills are all paid and we are prospering, we are just the happy little followers of Jesus but as soon as we hit a major bump or curve in the road we fall to the wayside like a spoiled child that didn't get there way. The Israelites were no different, I can assure you. They grumbled and griped constantly about any of a number of things but in this particular story it was the water but what did God in His gracious way do for them? He turned the bitter waters to sweet.

What I am saying today is this. When we are only following Jesus when things are going good and we are happy and well, then are we true followers? But, when we follow Him through the dessert places and we follow Him when the waters are bitter and we follow Him when our finances are out of wack and when our bodies are hurting and when our kids are not acting right and we follow Him through it all, then that says to a lost and dying world that we are true followers and there really must be something to this Jesus stuff. When they see us in the midst of the storm keeping our cool and with unwavering faith hanging on to the only one that can help us through it, when we are happy no matter what our circumstances then and only then are we truly being a shining light to a lost and dying world.

The Apostle Paul wrote 2/3 of the New Testament and most of it was penned from a jail cell. He said these words Rejoice in the Lord always and again I say rejoice. From a jail cell he wrote that and meant every word. He also said in Philippians 4:12
I know both how to have a little, and I know how to have a lot. In any and all circumstances I have learned the secret of being content--whether well fed or hungry, whether in abundance or in need. From a jail cell he said these and many other things and here we are well fed, with a roof over our heads, clothes to wear and not once have we been stoned, left for dead, and beaten. Not once. We are wimps in comparison to the Bible saints, to say the very least. We have bought into this comfortable Christianity that says as long as you say the right things, you will get the right things and as long as you have the faith you will always prosper and have lots of money. But see the word doesn't tell us that. The word, in fact, does say I would that you prosper even as your soul prospers. Noone wants to talk about the prosperity of the spirit or soul, just the physical prosperity that brings riches and land and honor and prestige, power and titles.

Of course I am not excited, elated or thrilled to be the next in line to suffer but I do live with a reality that lets me know that in a fallen and sinful world there are times that I will and I still have a wonderful and mighty God that is in complete and total control of all of it and He loves me enough to capture my tears in a bottle for a day that I need rain.

Getting Perspective

Lately so many different things have tried to overwhelm me. I allowed myself to become frustrated with situations, people and the presence of sickness and ailments in my body. I had, shall we say, lost my perspective. I had forgotten, if only for a moment, that I am seated in Heavenly places with Christ Jesus. Which means that from that Heavenly perspective I have dominion and authority over the things that try so hard to overwhelm and overcome me.

When we try to sit in a place that wasn't designed for us to sit, we become frustrated at best and lose our God given perspective. For instance, if I am seated on the floor, although I am an extremely large and tall woman, I feel very small and insignificant while I am on the floor. Even a small child could walk past me and drop something on my head and it would harm me because I am seated somewhere that I don't belong. Likewise when we allow ourselves to become dislodged or displaced, our perspective changes and we begin to feel overpowered, overwhelmed, insignificant and at times we may even feel completely unnecessary in the grand scheme of things.

The Lord has been speaking to me about perspective for quite a while now. Getting me to even move furniture around in my own little tiny apartment to get a different perspective or outlook. I had been complaining that there wasn't enough light in the apartment and that I couldn't grow anything and it was depressing and dark and the Lord said change your perspective. Do what you can in the natural. So I actually changed the furniture around and moved my desk to the other end of the apartment by the window and now I can look out the window while I write. I live on the third floor so needless to say, there is a completely different perspective from the third floor while looking out the window. Much better than before. When my desk was at the other end of the apartment. Yes it was still in front of a window but all you could see at best, if the curtains were opened was a wall and maybe a noisy neighbor or two LOL.

I am one of those people that just has to have music, light, plants and animals. I adore living things. I love to grow things, to create things, to cook and to feed folks. I had actually allowed myself to get depressed living in this tiny apartment with no access to grow anything or to have much light coming into the apartment. I have now changed my perspective and have learned to compensate for what was lacking. I have extremely bright colors in my apartment, which is part of my personality yes but it also helps to lighten things up in here. Sometimes when problems arise we allow ourselves to forget who we are in Christ Jesus we lose our perspective. We forget that we are the head and not the tail, that we are above ONLY and not beneath. That we indeed are seated in Heavenly places with Christ Jesus and that He loves us with an everlasting love and has us on His mind continually.

When you are overcoming a people-pleaser mentality, as I am sometimes you forget who you are and try to be who everyone wants you to be. Let me just say one word about that: STOP!!!! God has created you in His likeness and in His image and you don't have to be like anyone else at all. He has created you with your own brand of uniqueness and with your own special qualities, talents and abilities. Love who you are, love who He created you to be. Get some perspective.

Today if you are feeling overwhelmed, or are feeling burned out or frustrated just remember your Heavenly Father has you on His seating chart in Heaven. All you have to do is take your seat and use your God given authority and dominion and rise above any and all obstacles that might be trying to hinder your goal or destiny.There is only one you and only you can fill your seat.

The Life and times of a people pleaser

 
For the last few weeks I have isolated myself on purpose to get closer to the Father and to let Him heal me physically and in every way. I have cut off facebook, actually deactivated my account, have cut some life-sucking people out of my life and I can't even express how much better I feel and how much more productive I have been. I have been a people-pleaser for most of my life and I am just now truly feeling that it is ok for me to say "NO" and not feel bad about it. In the past I would always do whatever my friends or family wanted or expected me to do. Of course that was wonderful for them, but not so good for me.

I am learning that it is ok to love myself, it is also ok to pamper myself. To make sure that there are fresh flowers in the house, to make sure that the things that I love to eat and to cook are here and not to care what others think about how I decorate my apartment, what I wear or how I choose to wear my hair. Lord have mercy, it has literally taken a lifetime to come to these realizations and now here I am 54 years old and just now no longer struggling with these things.

Why? why did it take me so long? Why in the world would a person feel the need to put their own needs and desires to the side and feel the need to make sure that everyone in the room is happy, except for me? Why? well it started at a very early age. Trying to keep everyone from arguing, I would dance and sing and tell jokes and do just about anything to keep everyone happy. This formed a very bad pattern, needless to say and hence just now realizing that I am ok without all of that drama in my life.

I really don't have to be where I am just tolerated, I can go and be with people that celebrate me just me, for being me and for no other reason. Being around people that just want to be around me because I am good company and am a very interesting person. Not so I will do something for them or give something to them. I have had good friends for years try to tell me that I didn't have to please anyone but the Father and myself and I would hear them and nod and keep right on doing my same ole dysfunctional junk to keep the ball rolling.

I am finally to a place with the Father that as long as He is pleased with me, I am super happy and couldn't care less what others think. I have been just super soaking in worship music and the word and good books and just doing what I want to do. Cooking, reading, watching you tube videos, playing with my little dog and just enjoying being with the Father. Noone else needed or wanted at this time for that matter. I am not saying that I don't love people, because I do love people but I have had to let a whole bunch of folks go out of my life in order to maintain a peaceful existence and keep my sanity.

As a minister it is hard at best to be able to have peace in your life if you don't put boundaries around people. They always step too far into your personal space. Calling, texting and messaging at all hours of the night, never realizing that you need sleep and rest just like they do. They feel, I supposed, if they are up everyone should be up. I have tolerated this type of behavior out of folks for quite some time now and I am finally putting my foot down and putting a stop to all of it. I have to get rest, I have to let the Father restore me or I will fall apart. For the last few months I have literally felt like I was having a nervous breakdown because I was trying to please people and to be what others wanted me to be. I finally had to put the breaks on and pull aside and let the Lord minister to me, just to me and restore my weary soul.

I feel so much better now and will be making even further changes to bring order, peace and happiness to my own life. As soon as my health is better, I am going to start traveling and just soaking up the Father's great creation. He is so good and there are so many places that I have never seen and I am going to enjoy my life while there is still some life left to enjoy. We are not promised tomorrow and I have spent far too too too much time making everyone but me happy. Now it is time for me to please me. 

Being Still

The verse most quoted when a person is feeling frustrated or finds themselves in a place of indecision, stress, or transition is Psalm 46:10 Be still and know that I am God. This verse is so easily quoted but not as easily implemented into our own lives. The knowing that He is God part doesn't seem to be the problem at all, it's the being still part that really sticks it to us. Right in our flesh. We live in a fast paced society that wants to microwave everything, have instant gratification, and fast growing everything. Children are not taught delayed gratification like saving for that bike and paying it out slowly making it all the more of a treasure when it is finally all there's. I know folks that don't even want to cook something if it involves more than just a few ingredients because, "Oh, that is just too much trouble." Well...here is what I am going to tell ya, anything that is worth having is worth waiting for.

God brings those be still moments into our lives because in the quiet and the still He can more readily teach us something, or reveal things to us. When we are in constant motion, talking, planning, organizing and trying to just fit in quiet time with Him, our lives run off course very badly. But, it's when we take that time to say ok Father, I am here. I am alone with you, I am just going to thank you and praise you and worship you and just sit here with you and be quiet and listen..........................listen for your still small voice and receive whatever it is that you want me to have. Those moments are growth moments, those moments are perfecting patience moments and they are imperative to the Christian walk, if we expect to walk in integrity and in maturity.

The word tells us that we are seated in Heavenly places with Christ Jesus, which speaks to me of perspective. When we consider ourselves from the viewpoint of being seated in Heaven, we are sitting above the problem or circumstance and can get clarity, wisdom and understanding about how to handle a situation. Some situations that we find ourselves in seem impossible, but when we take time to be still and realize that we are joint heirs with Christ Jesus and seated in a place of honor with Him and that He is in complete and total control, it is then that we can gain that much needed Heavenly perspective and take our hands off of the situation and just watch how He does what He does. We can then basically just be still and let Him be God.

Sounds so simple doesn't it? Why then are we wrestling day in and day out with every little aggravation that comes our way? I say no more! During this physical down time for me I have for sure gained a much needed new perspective from the Lord and have sure enough been able to just chill, and calmly watch as He is God and does what needs to be done in each and every situation. Now mind you I am not saying for us to sit on the stool of do nothing and become lazy complacent and not move a finger but what I am saying is, to do like the word says when you have done all to stand, then stand! God is the one that causes the seasons to change, God is the one who causes the seeds to sprout and to grow to full fruition, God is our defender, healer, deliver, strong tower, protector, savior and Lord, He is everything that we need and is in full control of all things.

I am learning more each and every day how to just be still. So peaceful really..........just being quiet and listening to his voice. Listening for the answer for any problem, listening for any instructions that He might have for me. Such a peaceful life in comparison to rushing around trying to fix things on my own. Some times He has to pull me aside and say hey sit down right here and let me talk with you, I sure am glad that I listened. Now I crave the quiet times, I am eager to go into the secret place and have an audience with my Heavenly Father, He is a good Father and has good gifts. I never walk away empty handed, He always gives me something but first.......I must be still and just know that He is God and has it all under control..................

Slow it down

 
Although I have not enjoyed the pain I have had to endure over the last few days, I have however, enjoyed the time alone with God. He has spoken to me so very clearly in these last few days. I am grateful for His abiding presence of course but those moments when He is right there in your face, speaking to you, revealing to you, correcting  you and encouraging you, those moments are priceless.

He has been dealing with me about slowing down, getting alone with Him and shutting it all off, shutting everyone and everything out and just seeking Him. In this society we seem to think that if we don't have the phone ringing, the door bell ringing, and 5 appliances going at once and multi-tasking to the hilt that we aren't doing anything. I beg to differ. Once I remove myself from the hustle and the hassle I tend to get more done because my mind is alert, fine tuned to His voice and I can write better, and do everything better from a position of love than I can when I am stressed out and trying to do everything and be everything that everyone wants me to be.

I grew up as a people pleaser trying to be the tom-girl for my dad to be his fishing and hunting buddy and work on cars and then be the fashionista for my mother and look good and act perfect all of the time and of course I failed on both counts. That was only the beginning of the people pleaser mentality that has followed be doggedly for years. I have just recently learned that I could say no to ministry and not be displeasing to God. Lord have mercy if I did everything that I was asked to do or that was expected of me, I would absolutely lose my mind and I guess as a younger Christian that is exactly what I did. I lost my mind. I lost me! Where did I go? What am I supposed to be doing? Am I never to have a say in my life? Or am I to be at the beck and call of everyone for the rest of eternity?

I formed a really bad pattern in my life trying to be the be all, end all, fix all for my friends, my family, my church and my bosses. In turn all I managed to do was wear myself out and when I was completely broken down and could no longer do all that was expected I was cast upon the heap of all of the other unwanted things. People will do that to you, if you let them. They will pull on you, they will pull on your anointing, they will just pull and push and pull and push until you are just worn out and then add a sickness, ailment or disease to all of that and you have the perfect storm for burn out, to say the very least. Well.....I have finally learned over the years when He is saying to slow it down, pull it to the side and park here for a while, I better listen or I will be in a BIG MESS!

He has spoken some very clear things to me in the last few days and I have immensely enjoyed our time together just worshiping Him and getting instructions, and seeing a glimpse of things to come and they are all so very good. I just have to keep myself focused on Him and not on all of the other things that want to pull on me. Whether it is my wayward child and all that concerns him or ministry in general or neighbors, friends or other family, I have to sometimes pull this BIG BUS over and just be.
Not go anywhere, not do anything out of the ordinary, not even leave my apartment, other than to go down and check my mail and come right back. I am happy to say that I am genuinely happy being by myself just me and God and don't feel a compulsion or don't feel a need to have people around me all of the time and for me that is a major feat. For that I have to say hallelujah and thank you Jesus!

There was a time that I just could not function if I didn't have people around me constantly because I truly didn't like myself and so I tried to fill every second of every day with something or someone so as not to have to be alone but praise be to God those days are over and pulling aside is just fine with me now. I have been immersed in His presence for days now and I feel like I could fly without wings and although my body is acting up, my spirit is soaring. He is doing a great work inside of me and I am excited about His process and about this journey with Him.

I know it sounds cliche but it really isn't about the destination, it is about the journey, the every day journey with Him and His creation. Taking time to see His beauty in everything and to enjoy all that He has given us in the now and seeing His glory in it all. Whether it is a beautifully colored leaf, or a bird singing or a stream of water or a mountain range, or even a dark valley, He is the Creator of it all and it all works for our good and for His glory. I am grateful for all He is speaking and all that He is showing me in this season and I look forward to even further instruction and release from Him.

Slow it down. Turn off the television, turn off your phone, put a do not disturb sign on your door and just get into His presence, where there is fullness of joy. Worship, rejoice, praise, rejuvenate, refresh and watch Him pour out His spirit and His power and His glory. He is so good to us, all He wants is time with us. He is a good father and He loves us.

Way back when.......

She put him in a little basket, a miniature ark really, and then she put the lil' ark into the water and watched it carefully floating on down the river. I am sure as she followed she was praying to God that he would be safe and protected and that someone good and kind would find him and take care of him. But I am sure that she probably thought, they won't love him like I do. He is my sweet lil' baby brother. I will miss him, oh God I will miss him and as he floated away, she followed on foot down the riverbank to make sure that he was ok.

Then a beautiful, well dressed and elegant lady with all of her female attendants were there in the water and she saw the baby boy and picked him up out of the basket. She was the daughter of the rich Pharaoh, the ruler of all of Egypt and now she had her baby brother. To her great amazement and great joy, the fancy lady said can you find me a Hebrew woman to nurse this child for me? So she ran to get their very own mother to nurse baby Moses.

Wow! Isn't God good to us today? He is not only saving Moses' life but He is going to make sure that we get to feed and nurture him, for a while anyway. After he was weaned he was taken back to the beautiful Egyptian princess and she took him to the splendor of the palace and he was brought up as an Egyptian. He had the best of everything. Fine clothes, wonderful food and drink. The greatest teachers in the entire empire were at his disposal. He was being raised in majesty and wealth and honor............................................

She hadn't seen him in all of those years, she had prayed for him and wondered what had become of him and she had laid awake during the night trying to imagine the life he was living, and jealousy had taken root because she just couldn't understand why he was rescued and taken into wealth and riches and honor and although she was a prophetess and heard from God in her dreams and visions, she had lived in poverty all of her life as a slave to the Egyptians. She never thought that she would see him again but now............................................

Who is this guy talking about deliverance of his people? Who is this man that looks like he is weathered and worn? Who is this intense man that has such a magnetic pull on the people? WHO IS HE??? WAIT!!! Could it be? Could it be? No....there is no way....that couldn't possibly be my brother? really? how in the world? what? Oh my, oh my......really? Oh MOSES!!!!! I love you, I have missed you, I can't believe it's really you!!

The people are drawn to him, they listen to him and he has taken Aaron now to be his right hand man to be his helper, his mouth piece.......wow! now isn't this something? I am the one that rescued him, I am the one that made sure, he made it to safety and into that wealthy place and now he chooses Aaron? and discards me as if I don't even hear from God??? What? really? and the jealousy grows and becomes more intense..

The Lord God does many marvelous and miraculous things through Moses and everyone is astonished and amazed! The Lord frees them from the bondage and the oppression of the Egyptians and they are now on the move, going through the desert and Pharaoh is in hot pursuit and the murmuring against Moses begins......God rescues them from the Egyptians in such a marvelous and spectacular way and Miriam dances and sings before the Lord with great gladness and on the surface all seems well......

Finally she begins to speak out against her leader, the brother that she rescued, she begins to say "Does God only speak to Moses?" she is offended and she carries the offense to her brother Aaron and he also speaks against Moses and without them realizing that the God of all of Heaven was listening to every single word spoken against His Prophet, His man, His friend, they get called out by Almighty God Himself, openly rebuked and Miriam gets stricken with Leprosy!!! not just Leprosy but it was white, which means that it was in the final stages just before death and the brother that she spoke out against, is now her Intercessor, the one crying out to God to spare her life!!

How did she get to this place? How has this evil come into her life? Where did she go wrong? She had allowed that jealousy to take a hold of her and form an offense and then a root of bitterness had formed and grown and spread and become a terrible and ugly SIN in her life....................that started way back when.............

Are you bearing an offense today? Are you angry at someone? Are you jealous of someone's success? Please I implore you, REPENT!!!! Do not allow those things to ruin your life, your ministry, your calling and ultimately take your life. 

The Bliss Of The Dandelion

When I was a little girl I loved making chains out of the bright yellow Dandelions that were growing in our yard. I also loved blowing on the Dandelions that had gone to seed and making a wish. Every time my dad saw me doing this, he would say, "Sis, we have enough weeds in this yard." I would just giggle and keep right on making my wish. When I looked at the dandelion I didn't see a weed, I saw a pretty flower. When I looked at the dandelion I saw a wish.

The older I get the more I love the Dandelion and it's symbolic image in my life. To me it represents the faith of a child, seeing things through the eyes of a child and having a child-like perspective. I see a resilient little flower that refuses to give up, that refuses to go extinct even though people are constantly trying to kill it and be forever rid of the Dandelion, it lives on.

My dad fought furiously against the dandelion because he saw it as a threat to his beautifully manicured lawn but I saw it as a bright and cheerful yellow flower that adorned it. Ahhh.... I guess it's all about perspective. So....since I still do have the ability to see and think like a child I will go a little farther and look at this thing from the viewpoint of the Dandelion himself......well let's see the Dandelion knows that he has beautiful brightly colored blooms, that grow incredibly quick. He considers himself to be quite useful because Dandelion stems and leaves can be eaten, bouquets can be gathered from the flowers and he knows that if you mess with him, he will just go to seed and spread on you! He considers himself a flower but he grows like a weed! He's quite resilient and not easily conquered. Would to God that we were more like the dandelion!

So...when I look at a Dandelion my mind is flooded with childhood memories of flower chains and mini-bouquets for my dolls, and blowing on the dandelion and watching the seeds take their flight and making a wish to someday be able to travel to far away places like Pippy Longstocking or to have a pet monkey or visit the queen or any of a number of wishes that were in my little girl head at the time. All of life is from perspective really...where some see a weed others see a wish, where some see a problem others see a promise.

Today....if just for a moment try to look at things from a different perspective. Ask God to give you the eyes of a child. To be able to see the good and not just the bad, to be able to love and show kindness in the midst of adversity, to see beauty where others see weeds. Jesus said to His disciples suffer (allow) the little children to come unto me and forbid them not, for of such is the kingdom of Heaven. He also said that if we don't become as little children we will not enter into the kingdom of Heaven. I hope and pray never to lose my ability to see things from a child's perspective.......I see a wish, what do you see?
AWord42Day
Priscilla Hinds

When Your Pastor Is An Apostle

What do you do when you realize that your Pastor is also an Apostle? That God is now sending him to another region of the kingdom to do a work there? Do you pout? have a little fit? feel sorry for yourself? get angry? or do you thank God that you had the opportunity to learn from him and to serve along side him in the kingdom work and now continue on?

It behooves us all to realize that each of us have a job to do for God. God has given Apostles, Prophets, Evangelists, Pastors and Teachers in this kingdom for the equipping of the saints. When we try to hang on to folks for our own selfish reasons we are hindering the work of almighty God. All of this belongs to the Lord. The earth is the Lord's and the fullness thereof. No matter where He sends us or what He has us doing, it is all for His glory, not for our own. So let's all just get on board with one another and help fulfill this kingdom mission.

For we know that all things work together for the good of them that love the Lord and are the called according to His purpose. He is working it all out, in His own time. He strategically places folks in certain areas to get things done in the kingdom. This is no different than being in the military, people go to certain areas for certain seasons for a certain purpose and then they are stationed somewhere else. We understand it in the natural, so why can't we get it in the spiritual?

God owns it all and He is the Boss. If we as ministers of this gospel are to be pleasing to our God and to be obedient to Him, then we will have to start, implement, launch, build in momentum to continue and then if and when He calls us to do another assignment we can do that without hesitation or reservation. When it is time to move on, it is time to move on. I have had to do it many many times and folks wouldn't understand or they would get angry or frustrated or feel left out. Sometimes I could talk about the move and other times I had to just be quiet and move on without any explanation as to what was really going on behind the scenes. I have also been told to go and held on because I didn't want to go and like Jonah got swallowed up. Not cool, I can assure you. I hate closed in, fishy places.

I can only imagine how difficult it is for a Pastor to do this. I truly wish that God's people would begin to act like God's people and support their Pastor and be armor bearers, intercessors and supporters of the vision that their Pastor is trying to continually cast before the people. Where there is no vision, the people perish. What's even worse is when their is a clear, and concise vision that the people refuse to follow. Kind of sounds like poor Moses. He tried and tried to get those people to follow him and reach the promised land but they just would not stop their grumbling and griping and back biting and complaining and none of them got to enter in with the exception of Joshua and Caleb. How truly sad to have such a wonderful opportunity and to be a part of such an awesome vision and not see it come to fruition.

Today if your Pastor is trying to cast vision for the congregation and he is trying to shepherd the house, please allow him to do just that and when and if God re-assigns him, bless him and let him go knowing that he is following the direction of the Holy Spirit of God.

Change For A Twenty?

How many times have we said or heard someone else say, "Have you got change for a twenty?" Well, now yes indeed we do have change for a twenty. The U.S. Twenty dollar bill currency is getting a, shall we say facelift? President Andrew Jackson's image will no longer grace the bill and in his place will be Harriett Tubman, who not only was a woman but a black woman., Oh mercy me, some people are up in arms over this and I find it quite ridiculous. Harriett Tubman risked her life to bring about change, she stepped out in bravery and courage to do what she could do to be an agent of change, to see a day when slavery would be abolished and people would be equal.

 Some folks can't stand change, they fight it and rail against it and become outraged at the very idea of change. But truly the one and only thing in this life that you can be sure is coming is change.  Change is good. Without change the world would not have butterflies. Without change, lives could not be transformed by the power of the living Christ. Changing the image on the twenty in no way diminishes its value but to hear the speak of some folks you would think that the twenty was being replaced with a penny.

 Good grief! why can't people just love people? I grow so weary of ignorant, racist, statements like I will never have a twenty in my pocket every again if they are going to do this. Ok well go on and prophesy that over yourself in your ignorance, maybe the Lord will grant your desire and make sure you never have one or the equivalent of one ever again. God loves people. All people, all races, all colors, all tongues. Aren't you glad today? Aren't you glad that God loves us all the same? Aren't you glad that He brought change into your life? Aren't you glad that when He sees you, He doesn't see color or economic status or any of the things that divide us here? I sure am. I am glad and happy to serve a God that loves us all the same.

When I first heard about the change coming to the twenty I thought wow! God granted exceedingly and abundantly above all that Mrs. Tubman could have even imagined! God is the God of change, the God of dreams and visions and He is also a God of justice. Whatever He has called you to do no matter how difficult or how much opposition you find yourself up against just realize that in His time and in the right season it will come to pass. Matters not what people think or how they receive it or if they celebrate you or not. He celebrates you. Here are her own words and I quote, "Every great dream begins with a dreamer. Always remember, you have within you the strength, the patience, and the passion to reach for the stars to change the world. ~Harriet Tubman~

Harriett was what I like to call a water stirrer. Like the angel in the Bible that would come down to the pool of Bethesda and stir the waters, anyone that got in would be healed. She wrote this song, how powerful are these words? 

I say today to anyone that has racism in their hearts, I have now stirred the waters for you, get in and receive your healing. It is not the will of God for people to hate each other and to be divided. I am giving honor today to whom honor is due and Harriet Tubman is due of honor.

Waiting

Wow, so much has happened in the last few weeks that I had completely stopped writing. Which for me is not good. I love to write and it is a good outlet for me to express my ideals and it helps me to decompress. I had over involved myself in so many things that writing has actually become a chore and that was tragic to say the very least.

 

 Don't we all do this? We let other people put upon us to do things and commit to things that we are not only called to do but really don't want to do but because we have those people-pleaser traits that just don't seem to want to go away, we take on more than we need to and then become overwhelmed. No more of that foolishness. When we do this, not only do we become resentful of our wasted time and effort, we lose interest in doing what we actually should be doing and are called to do.

All good ideas are not God ideas. Just because something sounds good and may be good for that matter does not mean however that we should be doing that thing. I am now becoming more selective and intentional with my time, energy, finances, talents, giftings and calling. I can't be everything to everyone and I can't go everywhere and do all that people want me to do. So, I am making difficult choices and taking necessary steps to be all that God has called me to be. Nothing more, nothing less.

I cannot save my family. I cannot rescue them or anyone else for that matter. I am one person on a journey with God doing what He has called me to do. As my good friend Pastor Paul says, "Stop trying to be the Holy Ghost!", "You can't change people" such a true statement. I have been trying for years to make folks come into the kingdom. I can clearly see what needs to be done so I am going to just keep on after them until they do the right thing. I can't do it for them and I can't make them change and I sure can't be their Savior. When we constantly rescue people we become a false Savior to them and they fall fully on us and rely on us so much that it becomes burdensome to us and it cripples them emotionally and spiritually.

So, no more. This ole girl is going to do what she is called to do which is to preach this gospel of the kingdom of God in love. Showing the hurting folks that He puts into my path that there is a Savior that loves them. Introduce them to the Father that is a loving and compassionate Father that loves them with an everlasting, never ending love. I can't be their Jesus, but I can show them Jesus and point them to that cross. Yes I know how to do a bunch of different things but I am not called to do those things. When I need to teach, sing, cook, be administrative, write, whatever I can do those things but they are not the calling, they are the gifts to help push the calling forward, to reach that destiny that I was designed for. 

Where all He will take me on this journey, I do not know but, what I do know is I am ready. I am ready to go wherever He says to go and to do whatever He says to do. Everything I want is not what I need or even if it is what I need, it might not be what I need at that particular moment. In this kingdom it is about His timing, not ours. I watched a video yesterday that was on facebook of a Pastor having folks jump into the jump rope. If you jump too soon, you miss it, if you wait too long, you miss it. I have been so frustrated hearing from God and wanting to jump right in and was missing it and just couldn't understand. Well.....here we go again......wait on the Lord. Just wait on the Lord. So, I will wait and while I wait I will do what I can where I am until He gives me the next directive. This is my least favorite thing, waiting. But, I will wait and I will get better and better at doing it because in this kingdom journey whatever you keep messing up on that is what you keep having to repeat so, this time I will get it right. Glory to God I surely don't want to have to repeat some things that I have been through in the last few months. Oh no Jesus, say it aint so. So, for those of you that are in that waiting mode, just know that you are not alone and it does get easier. Hang on to His promises and to the vision He has shown you and don't forget in the dark what He has clearly spoken/shown to you in the light. He is a rewarder of those that diligently seek Him and He is faithful to His word and to His promises. Wait, I say on the Lord.