The Life and times of a people pleaser

 
For the last few weeks I have isolated myself on purpose to get closer to the Father and to let Him heal me physically and in every way. I have cut off facebook, actually deactivated my account, have cut some life-sucking people out of my life and I can't even express how much better I feel and how much more productive I have been. I have been a people-pleaser for most of my life and I am just now truly feeling that it is ok for me to say "NO" and not feel bad about it. In the past I would always do whatever my friends or family wanted or expected me to do. Of course that was wonderful for them, but not so good for me.

I am learning that it is ok to love myself, it is also ok to pamper myself. To make sure that there are fresh flowers in the house, to make sure that the things that I love to eat and to cook are here and not to care what others think about how I decorate my apartment, what I wear or how I choose to wear my hair. Lord have mercy, it has literally taken a lifetime to come to these realizations and now here I am 54 years old and just now no longer struggling with these things.

Why? why did it take me so long? Why in the world would a person feel the need to put their own needs and desires to the side and feel the need to make sure that everyone in the room is happy, except for me? Why? well it started at a very early age. Trying to keep everyone from arguing, I would dance and sing and tell jokes and do just about anything to keep everyone happy. This formed a very bad pattern, needless to say and hence just now realizing that I am ok without all of that drama in my life.

I really don't have to be where I am just tolerated, I can go and be with people that celebrate me just me, for being me and for no other reason. Being around people that just want to be around me because I am good company and am a very interesting person. Not so I will do something for them or give something to them. I have had good friends for years try to tell me that I didn't have to please anyone but the Father and myself and I would hear them and nod and keep right on doing my same ole dysfunctional junk to keep the ball rolling.

I am finally to a place with the Father that as long as He is pleased with me, I am super happy and couldn't care less what others think. I have been just super soaking in worship music and the word and good books and just doing what I want to do. Cooking, reading, watching you tube videos, playing with my little dog and just enjoying being with the Father. Noone else needed or wanted at this time for that matter. I am not saying that I don't love people, because I do love people but I have had to let a whole bunch of folks go out of my life in order to maintain a peaceful existence and keep my sanity.

As a minister it is hard at best to be able to have peace in your life if you don't put boundaries around people. They always step too far into your personal space. Calling, texting and messaging at all hours of the night, never realizing that you need sleep and rest just like they do. They feel, I supposed, if they are up everyone should be up. I have tolerated this type of behavior out of folks for quite some time now and I am finally putting my foot down and putting a stop to all of it. I have to get rest, I have to let the Father restore me or I will fall apart. For the last few months I have literally felt like I was having a nervous breakdown because I was trying to please people and to be what others wanted me to be. I finally had to put the breaks on and pull aside and let the Lord minister to me, just to me and restore my weary soul.

I feel so much better now and will be making even further changes to bring order, peace and happiness to my own life. As soon as my health is better, I am going to start traveling and just soaking up the Father's great creation. He is so good and there are so many places that I have never seen and I am going to enjoy my life while there is still some life left to enjoy. We are not promised tomorrow and I have spent far too too too much time making everyone but me happy. Now it is time for me to please me. 

Being Still

The verse most quoted when a person is feeling frustrated or finds themselves in a place of indecision, stress, or transition is Psalm 46:10 Be still and know that I am God. This verse is so easily quoted but not as easily implemented into our own lives. The knowing that He is God part doesn't seem to be the problem at all, it's the being still part that really sticks it to us. Right in our flesh. We live in a fast paced society that wants to microwave everything, have instant gratification, and fast growing everything. Children are not taught delayed gratification like saving for that bike and paying it out slowly making it all the more of a treasure when it is finally all there's. I know folks that don't even want to cook something if it involves more than just a few ingredients because, "Oh, that is just too much trouble." Well...here is what I am going to tell ya, anything that is worth having is worth waiting for.

God brings those be still moments into our lives because in the quiet and the still He can more readily teach us something, or reveal things to us. When we are in constant motion, talking, planning, organizing and trying to just fit in quiet time with Him, our lives run off course very badly. But, it's when we take that time to say ok Father, I am here. I am alone with you, I am just going to thank you and praise you and worship you and just sit here with you and be quiet and listen..........................listen for your still small voice and receive whatever it is that you want me to have. Those moments are growth moments, those moments are perfecting patience moments and they are imperative to the Christian walk, if we expect to walk in integrity and in maturity.

The word tells us that we are seated in Heavenly places with Christ Jesus, which speaks to me of perspective. When we consider ourselves from the viewpoint of being seated in Heaven, we are sitting above the problem or circumstance and can get clarity, wisdom and understanding about how to handle a situation. Some situations that we find ourselves in seem impossible, but when we take time to be still and realize that we are joint heirs with Christ Jesus and seated in a place of honor with Him and that He is in complete and total control, it is then that we can gain that much needed Heavenly perspective and take our hands off of the situation and just watch how He does what He does. We can then basically just be still and let Him be God.

Sounds so simple doesn't it? Why then are we wrestling day in and day out with every little aggravation that comes our way? I say no more! During this physical down time for me I have for sure gained a much needed new perspective from the Lord and have sure enough been able to just chill, and calmly watch as He is God and does what needs to be done in each and every situation. Now mind you I am not saying for us to sit on the stool of do nothing and become lazy complacent and not move a finger but what I am saying is, to do like the word says when you have done all to stand, then stand! God is the one that causes the seasons to change, God is the one who causes the seeds to sprout and to grow to full fruition, God is our defender, healer, deliver, strong tower, protector, savior and Lord, He is everything that we need and is in full control of all things.

I am learning more each and every day how to just be still. So peaceful really..........just being quiet and listening to his voice. Listening for the answer for any problem, listening for any instructions that He might have for me. Such a peaceful life in comparison to rushing around trying to fix things on my own. Some times He has to pull me aside and say hey sit down right here and let me talk with you, I sure am glad that I listened. Now I crave the quiet times, I am eager to go into the secret place and have an audience with my Heavenly Father, He is a good Father and has good gifts. I never walk away empty handed, He always gives me something but first.......I must be still and just know that He is God and has it all under control..................

Slow it down

 
Although I have not enjoyed the pain I have had to endure over the last few days, I have however, enjoyed the time alone with God. He has spoken to me so very clearly in these last few days. I am grateful for His abiding presence of course but those moments when He is right there in your face, speaking to you, revealing to you, correcting  you and encouraging you, those moments are priceless.

He has been dealing with me about slowing down, getting alone with Him and shutting it all off, shutting everyone and everything out and just seeking Him. In this society we seem to think that if we don't have the phone ringing, the door bell ringing, and 5 appliances going at once and multi-tasking to the hilt that we aren't doing anything. I beg to differ. Once I remove myself from the hustle and the hassle I tend to get more done because my mind is alert, fine tuned to His voice and I can write better, and do everything better from a position of love than I can when I am stressed out and trying to do everything and be everything that everyone wants me to be.

I grew up as a people pleaser trying to be the tom-girl for my dad to be his fishing and hunting buddy and work on cars and then be the fashionista for my mother and look good and act perfect all of the time and of course I failed on both counts. That was only the beginning of the people pleaser mentality that has followed be doggedly for years. I have just recently learned that I could say no to ministry and not be displeasing to God. Lord have mercy if I did everything that I was asked to do or that was expected of me, I would absolutely lose my mind and I guess as a younger Christian that is exactly what I did. I lost my mind. I lost me! Where did I go? What am I supposed to be doing? Am I never to have a say in my life? Or am I to be at the beck and call of everyone for the rest of eternity?

I formed a really bad pattern in my life trying to be the be all, end all, fix all for my friends, my family, my church and my bosses. In turn all I managed to do was wear myself out and when I was completely broken down and could no longer do all that was expected I was cast upon the heap of all of the other unwanted things. People will do that to you, if you let them. They will pull on you, they will pull on your anointing, they will just pull and push and pull and push until you are just worn out and then add a sickness, ailment or disease to all of that and you have the perfect storm for burn out, to say the very least. Well.....I have finally learned over the years when He is saying to slow it down, pull it to the side and park here for a while, I better listen or I will be in a BIG MESS!

He has spoken some very clear things to me in the last few days and I have immensely enjoyed our time together just worshiping Him and getting instructions, and seeing a glimpse of things to come and they are all so very good. I just have to keep myself focused on Him and not on all of the other things that want to pull on me. Whether it is my wayward child and all that concerns him or ministry in general or neighbors, friends or other family, I have to sometimes pull this BIG BUS over and just be.
Not go anywhere, not do anything out of the ordinary, not even leave my apartment, other than to go down and check my mail and come right back. I am happy to say that I am genuinely happy being by myself just me and God and don't feel a compulsion or don't feel a need to have people around me all of the time and for me that is a major feat. For that I have to say hallelujah and thank you Jesus!

There was a time that I just could not function if I didn't have people around me constantly because I truly didn't like myself and so I tried to fill every second of every day with something or someone so as not to have to be alone but praise be to God those days are over and pulling aside is just fine with me now. I have been immersed in His presence for days now and I feel like I could fly without wings and although my body is acting up, my spirit is soaring. He is doing a great work inside of me and I am excited about His process and about this journey with Him.

I know it sounds cliche but it really isn't about the destination, it is about the journey, the every day journey with Him and His creation. Taking time to see His beauty in everything and to enjoy all that He has given us in the now and seeing His glory in it all. Whether it is a beautifully colored leaf, or a bird singing or a stream of water or a mountain range, or even a dark valley, He is the Creator of it all and it all works for our good and for His glory. I am grateful for all He is speaking and all that He is showing me in this season and I look forward to even further instruction and release from Him.

Slow it down. Turn off the television, turn off your phone, put a do not disturb sign on your door and just get into His presence, where there is fullness of joy. Worship, rejoice, praise, rejuvenate, refresh and watch Him pour out His spirit and His power and His glory. He is so good to us, all He wants is time with us. He is a good father and He loves us.

Way back when.......

She put him in a little basket, a miniature ark really, and then she put the lil' ark into the water and watched it carefully floating on down the river. I am sure as she followed she was praying to God that he would be safe and protected and that someone good and kind would find him and take care of him. But I am sure that she probably thought, they won't love him like I do. He is my sweet lil' baby brother. I will miss him, oh God I will miss him and as he floated away, she followed on foot down the riverbank to make sure that he was ok.

Then a beautiful, well dressed and elegant lady with all of her female attendants were there in the water and she saw the baby boy and picked him up out of the basket. She was the daughter of the rich Pharaoh, the ruler of all of Egypt and now she had her baby brother. To her great amazement and great joy, the fancy lady said can you find me a Hebrew woman to nurse this child for me? So she ran to get their very own mother to nurse baby Moses.

Wow! Isn't God good to us today? He is not only saving Moses' life but He is going to make sure that we get to feed and nurture him, for a while anyway. After he was weaned he was taken back to the beautiful Egyptian princess and she took him to the splendor of the palace and he was brought up as an Egyptian. He had the best of everything. Fine clothes, wonderful food and drink. The greatest teachers in the entire empire were at his disposal. He was being raised in majesty and wealth and honor............................................

She hadn't seen him in all of those years, she had prayed for him and wondered what had become of him and she had laid awake during the night trying to imagine the life he was living, and jealousy had taken root because she just couldn't understand why he was rescued and taken into wealth and riches and honor and although she was a prophetess and heard from God in her dreams and visions, she had lived in poverty all of her life as a slave to the Egyptians. She never thought that she would see him again but now............................................

Who is this guy talking about deliverance of his people? Who is this man that looks like he is weathered and worn? Who is this intense man that has such a magnetic pull on the people? WHO IS HE??? WAIT!!! Could it be? Could it be? No....there is no way....that couldn't possibly be my brother? really? how in the world? what? Oh my, oh my......really? Oh MOSES!!!!! I love you, I have missed you, I can't believe it's really you!!

The people are drawn to him, they listen to him and he has taken Aaron now to be his right hand man to be his helper, his mouth piece.......wow! now isn't this something? I am the one that rescued him, I am the one that made sure, he made it to safety and into that wealthy place and now he chooses Aaron? and discards me as if I don't even hear from God??? What? really? and the jealousy grows and becomes more intense..

The Lord God does many marvelous and miraculous things through Moses and everyone is astonished and amazed! The Lord frees them from the bondage and the oppression of the Egyptians and they are now on the move, going through the desert and Pharaoh is in hot pursuit and the murmuring against Moses begins......God rescues them from the Egyptians in such a marvelous and spectacular way and Miriam dances and sings before the Lord with great gladness and on the surface all seems well......

Finally she begins to speak out against her leader, the brother that she rescued, she begins to say "Does God only speak to Moses?" she is offended and she carries the offense to her brother Aaron and he also speaks against Moses and without them realizing that the God of all of Heaven was listening to every single word spoken against His Prophet, His man, His friend, they get called out by Almighty God Himself, openly rebuked and Miriam gets stricken with Leprosy!!! not just Leprosy but it was white, which means that it was in the final stages just before death and the brother that she spoke out against, is now her Intercessor, the one crying out to God to spare her life!!

How did she get to this place? How has this evil come into her life? Where did she go wrong? She had allowed that jealousy to take a hold of her and form an offense and then a root of bitterness had formed and grown and spread and become a terrible and ugly SIN in her life....................that started way back when.............

Are you bearing an offense today? Are you angry at someone? Are you jealous of someone's success? Please I implore you, REPENT!!!! Do not allow those things to ruin your life, your ministry, your calling and ultimately take your life. 

The Bliss Of The Dandelion

When I was a little girl I loved making chains out of the bright yellow Dandelions that were growing in our yard. I also loved blowing on the Dandelions that had gone to seed and making a wish. Every time my dad saw me doing this, he would say, "Sis, we have enough weeds in this yard." I would just giggle and keep right on making my wish. When I looked at the dandelion I didn't see a weed, I saw a pretty flower. When I looked at the dandelion I saw a wish.

The older I get the more I love the Dandelion and it's symbolic image in my life. To me it represents the faith of a child, seeing things through the eyes of a child and having a child-like perspective. I see a resilient little flower that refuses to give up, that refuses to go extinct even though people are constantly trying to kill it and be forever rid of the Dandelion, it lives on.

My dad fought furiously against the dandelion because he saw it as a threat to his beautifully manicured lawn but I saw it as a bright and cheerful yellow flower that adorned it. Ahhh.... I guess it's all about perspective. So....since I still do have the ability to see and think like a child I will go a little farther and look at this thing from the viewpoint of the Dandelion himself......well let's see the Dandelion knows that he has beautiful brightly colored blooms, that grow incredibly quick. He considers himself to be quite useful because Dandelion stems and leaves can be eaten, bouquets can be gathered from the flowers and he knows that if you mess with him, he will just go to seed and spread on you! He considers himself a flower but he grows like a weed! He's quite resilient and not easily conquered. Would to God that we were more like the dandelion!

So...when I look at a Dandelion my mind is flooded with childhood memories of flower chains and mini-bouquets for my dolls, and blowing on the dandelion and watching the seeds take their flight and making a wish to someday be able to travel to far away places like Pippy Longstocking or to have a pet monkey or visit the queen or any of a number of wishes that were in my little girl head at the time. All of life is from perspective really...where some see a weed others see a wish, where some see a problem others see a promise.

Today....if just for a moment try to look at things from a different perspective. Ask God to give you the eyes of a child. To be able to see the good and not just the bad, to be able to love and show kindness in the midst of adversity, to see beauty where others see weeds. Jesus said to His disciples suffer (allow) the little children to come unto me and forbid them not, for of such is the kingdom of Heaven. He also said that if we don't become as little children we will not enter into the kingdom of Heaven. I hope and pray never to lose my ability to see things from a child's perspective.......I see a wish, what do you see?
AWord42Day
Priscilla Hinds

When Your Pastor Is An Apostle

What do you do when you realize that your Pastor is also an Apostle? That God is now sending him to another region of the kingdom to do a work there? Do you pout? have a little fit? feel sorry for yourself? get angry? or do you thank God that you had the opportunity to learn from him and to serve along side him in the kingdom work and now continue on?

It behooves us all to realize that each of us have a job to do for God. God has given Apostles, Prophets, Evangelists, Pastors and Teachers in this kingdom for the equipping of the saints. When we try to hang on to folks for our own selfish reasons we are hindering the work of almighty God. All of this belongs to the Lord. The earth is the Lord's and the fullness thereof. No matter where He sends us or what He has us doing, it is all for His glory, not for our own. So let's all just get on board with one another and help fulfill this kingdom mission.

For we know that all things work together for the good of them that love the Lord and are the called according to His purpose. He is working it all out, in His own time. He strategically places folks in certain areas to get things done in the kingdom. This is no different than being in the military, people go to certain areas for certain seasons for a certain purpose and then they are stationed somewhere else. We understand it in the natural, so why can't we get it in the spiritual?

God owns it all and He is the Boss. If we as ministers of this gospel are to be pleasing to our God and to be obedient to Him, then we will have to start, implement, launch, build in momentum to continue and then if and when He calls us to do another assignment we can do that without hesitation or reservation. When it is time to move on, it is time to move on. I have had to do it many many times and folks wouldn't understand or they would get angry or frustrated or feel left out. Sometimes I could talk about the move and other times I had to just be quiet and move on without any explanation as to what was really going on behind the scenes. I have also been told to go and held on because I didn't want to go and like Jonah got swallowed up. Not cool, I can assure you. I hate closed in, fishy places.

I can only imagine how difficult it is for a Pastor to do this. I truly wish that God's people would begin to act like God's people and support their Pastor and be armor bearers, intercessors and supporters of the vision that their Pastor is trying to continually cast before the people. Where there is no vision, the people perish. What's even worse is when their is a clear, and concise vision that the people refuse to follow. Kind of sounds like poor Moses. He tried and tried to get those people to follow him and reach the promised land but they just would not stop their grumbling and griping and back biting and complaining and none of them got to enter in with the exception of Joshua and Caleb. How truly sad to have such a wonderful opportunity and to be a part of such an awesome vision and not see it come to fruition.

Today if your Pastor is trying to cast vision for the congregation and he is trying to shepherd the house, please allow him to do just that and when and if God re-assigns him, bless him and let him go knowing that he is following the direction of the Holy Spirit of God.

Change For A Twenty?

How many times have we said or heard someone else say, "Have you got change for a twenty?" Well, now yes indeed we do have change for a twenty. The U.S. Twenty dollar bill currency is getting a, shall we say facelift? President Andrew Jackson's image will no longer grace the bill and in his place will be Harriett Tubman, who not only was a woman but a black woman., Oh mercy me, some people are up in arms over this and I find it quite ridiculous. Harriett Tubman risked her life to bring about change, she stepped out in bravery and courage to do what she could do to be an agent of change, to see a day when slavery would be abolished and people would be equal.

 Some folks can't stand change, they fight it and rail against it and become outraged at the very idea of change. But truly the one and only thing in this life that you can be sure is coming is change.  Change is good. Without change the world would not have butterflies. Without change, lives could not be transformed by the power of the living Christ. Changing the image on the twenty in no way diminishes its value but to hear the speak of some folks you would think that the twenty was being replaced with a penny.

 Good grief! why can't people just love people? I grow so weary of ignorant, racist, statements like I will never have a twenty in my pocket every again if they are going to do this. Ok well go on and prophesy that over yourself in your ignorance, maybe the Lord will grant your desire and make sure you never have one or the equivalent of one ever again. God loves people. All people, all races, all colors, all tongues. Aren't you glad today? Aren't you glad that God loves us all the same? Aren't you glad that He brought change into your life? Aren't you glad that when He sees you, He doesn't see color or economic status or any of the things that divide us here? I sure am. I am glad and happy to serve a God that loves us all the same.

When I first heard about the change coming to the twenty I thought wow! God granted exceedingly and abundantly above all that Mrs. Tubman could have even imagined! God is the God of change, the God of dreams and visions and He is also a God of justice. Whatever He has called you to do no matter how difficult or how much opposition you find yourself up against just realize that in His time and in the right season it will come to pass. Matters not what people think or how they receive it or if they celebrate you or not. He celebrates you. Here are her own words and I quote, "Every great dream begins with a dreamer. Always remember, you have within you the strength, the patience, and the passion to reach for the stars to change the world. ~Harriet Tubman~

Harriett was what I like to call a water stirrer. Like the angel in the Bible that would come down to the pool of Bethesda and stir the waters, anyone that got in would be healed. She wrote this song, how powerful are these words? 

I say today to anyone that has racism in their hearts, I have now stirred the waters for you, get in and receive your healing. It is not the will of God for people to hate each other and to be divided. I am giving honor today to whom honor is due and Harriet Tubman is due of honor.