Slow it down

 
Although I have not enjoyed the pain I have had to endure over the last few days, I have however, enjoyed the time alone with God. He has spoken to me so very clearly in these last few days. I am grateful for His abiding presence of course but those moments when He is right there in your face, speaking to you, revealing to you, correcting  you and encouraging you, those moments are priceless.

He has been dealing with me about slowing down, getting alone with Him and shutting it all off, shutting everyone and everything out and just seeking Him. In this society we seem to think that if we don't have the phone ringing, the door bell ringing, and 5 appliances going at once and multi-tasking to the hilt that we aren't doing anything. I beg to differ. Once I remove myself from the hustle and the hassle I tend to get more done because my mind is alert, fine tuned to His voice and I can write better, and do everything better from a position of love than I can when I am stressed out and trying to do everything and be everything that everyone wants me to be.

I grew up as a people pleaser trying to be the tom-girl for my dad to be his fishing and hunting buddy and work on cars and then be the fashionista for my mother and look good and act perfect all of the time and of course I failed on both counts. That was only the beginning of the people pleaser mentality that has followed be doggedly for years. I have just recently learned that I could say no to ministry and not be displeasing to God. Lord have mercy if I did everything that I was asked to do or that was expected of me, I would absolutely lose my mind and I guess as a younger Christian that is exactly what I did. I lost my mind. I lost me! Where did I go? What am I supposed to be doing? Am I never to have a say in my life? Or am I to be at the beck and call of everyone for the rest of eternity?

I formed a really bad pattern in my life trying to be the be all, end all, fix all for my friends, my family, my church and my bosses. In turn all I managed to do was wear myself out and when I was completely broken down and could no longer do all that was expected I was cast upon the heap of all of the other unwanted things. People will do that to you, if you let them. They will pull on you, they will pull on your anointing, they will just pull and push and pull and push until you are just worn out and then add a sickness, ailment or disease to all of that and you have the perfect storm for burn out, to say the very least. Well.....I have finally learned over the years when He is saying to slow it down, pull it to the side and park here for a while, I better listen or I will be in a BIG MESS!

He has spoken some very clear things to me in the last few days and I have immensely enjoyed our time together just worshiping Him and getting instructions, and seeing a glimpse of things to come and they are all so very good. I just have to keep myself focused on Him and not on all of the other things that want to pull on me. Whether it is my wayward child and all that concerns him or ministry in general or neighbors, friends or other family, I have to sometimes pull this BIG BUS over and just be.
Not go anywhere, not do anything out of the ordinary, not even leave my apartment, other than to go down and check my mail and come right back. I am happy to say that I am genuinely happy being by myself just me and God and don't feel a compulsion or don't feel a need to have people around me all of the time and for me that is a major feat. For that I have to say hallelujah and thank you Jesus!

There was a time that I just could not function if I didn't have people around me constantly because I truly didn't like myself and so I tried to fill every second of every day with something or someone so as not to have to be alone but praise be to God those days are over and pulling aside is just fine with me now. I have been immersed in His presence for days now and I feel like I could fly without wings and although my body is acting up, my spirit is soaring. He is doing a great work inside of me and I am excited about His process and about this journey with Him.

I know it sounds cliche but it really isn't about the destination, it is about the journey, the every day journey with Him and His creation. Taking time to see His beauty in everything and to enjoy all that He has given us in the now and seeing His glory in it all. Whether it is a beautifully colored leaf, or a bird singing or a stream of water or a mountain range, or even a dark valley, He is the Creator of it all and it all works for our good and for His glory. I am grateful for all He is speaking and all that He is showing me in this season and I look forward to even further instruction and release from Him.

Slow it down. Turn off the television, turn off your phone, put a do not disturb sign on your door and just get into His presence, where there is fullness of joy. Worship, rejoice, praise, rejuvenate, refresh and watch Him pour out His spirit and His power and His glory. He is so good to us, all He wants is time with us. He is a good father and He loves us.

Way back when.......

She put him in a little basket, a miniature ark really, and then she put the lil' ark into the water and watched it carefully floating on down the river. I am sure as she followed she was praying to God that he would be safe and protected and that someone good and kind would find him and take care of him. But I am sure that she probably thought, they won't love him like I do. He is my sweet lil' baby brother. I will miss him, oh God I will miss him and as he floated away, she followed on foot down the riverbank to make sure that he was ok.

Then a beautiful, well dressed and elegant lady with all of her female attendants were there in the water and she saw the baby boy and picked him up out of the basket. She was the daughter of the rich Pharaoh, the ruler of all of Egypt and now she had her baby brother. To her great amazement and great joy, the fancy lady said can you find me a Hebrew woman to nurse this child for me? So she ran to get their very own mother to nurse baby Moses.

Wow! Isn't God good to us today? He is not only saving Moses' life but He is going to make sure that we get to feed and nurture him, for a while anyway. After he was weaned he was taken back to the beautiful Egyptian princess and she took him to the splendor of the palace and he was brought up as an Egyptian. He had the best of everything. Fine clothes, wonderful food and drink. The greatest teachers in the entire empire were at his disposal. He was being raised in majesty and wealth and honor............................................

She hadn't seen him in all of those years, she had prayed for him and wondered what had become of him and she had laid awake during the night trying to imagine the life he was living, and jealousy had taken root because she just couldn't understand why he was rescued and taken into wealth and riches and honor and although she was a prophetess and heard from God in her dreams and visions, she had lived in poverty all of her life as a slave to the Egyptians. She never thought that she would see him again but now............................................

Who is this guy talking about deliverance of his people? Who is this man that looks like he is weathered and worn? Who is this intense man that has such a magnetic pull on the people? WHO IS HE??? WAIT!!! Could it be? Could it be? No....there is no way....that couldn't possibly be my brother? really? how in the world? what? Oh my, oh my......really? Oh MOSES!!!!! I love you, I have missed you, I can't believe it's really you!!

The people are drawn to him, they listen to him and he has taken Aaron now to be his right hand man to be his helper, his mouth piece.......wow! now isn't this something? I am the one that rescued him, I am the one that made sure, he made it to safety and into that wealthy place and now he chooses Aaron? and discards me as if I don't even hear from God??? What? really? and the jealousy grows and becomes more intense..

The Lord God does many marvelous and miraculous things through Moses and everyone is astonished and amazed! The Lord frees them from the bondage and the oppression of the Egyptians and they are now on the move, going through the desert and Pharaoh is in hot pursuit and the murmuring against Moses begins......God rescues them from the Egyptians in such a marvelous and spectacular way and Miriam dances and sings before the Lord with great gladness and on the surface all seems well......

Finally she begins to speak out against her leader, the brother that she rescued, she begins to say "Does God only speak to Moses?" she is offended and she carries the offense to her brother Aaron and he also speaks against Moses and without them realizing that the God of all of Heaven was listening to every single word spoken against His Prophet, His man, His friend, they get called out by Almighty God Himself, openly rebuked and Miriam gets stricken with Leprosy!!! not just Leprosy but it was white, which means that it was in the final stages just before death and the brother that she spoke out against, is now her Intercessor, the one crying out to God to spare her life!!

How did she get to this place? How has this evil come into her life? Where did she go wrong? She had allowed that jealousy to take a hold of her and form an offense and then a root of bitterness had formed and grown and spread and become a terrible and ugly SIN in her life....................that started way back when.............

Are you bearing an offense today? Are you angry at someone? Are you jealous of someone's success? Please I implore you, REPENT!!!! Do not allow those things to ruin your life, your ministry, your calling and ultimately take your life.