Wow, so much has happened in the last few weeks that I had completely stopped writing. Which for me is not good. I love to write and it is a good outlet for me to express my ideals and it helps me to decompress. I had over involved myself in so many things that writing has actually become a chore and that was tragic to say the very least.
Don't we all do this? We let other people put upon us to do things and commit to things that we are not only called to do but really don't want to do but because we have those people-pleaser traits that just don't seem to want to go away, we take on more than we need to and then become overwhelmed. No more of that foolishness. When we do this, not only do we become resentful of our wasted time and effort, we lose interest in doing what we actually should be doing and are called to do.
All good ideas are not God ideas. Just because something sounds good and may be good for that matter does not mean however that we should be doing that thing. I am now becoming more selective and intentional with my time, energy, finances, talents, giftings and calling. I can't be everything to everyone and I can't go everywhere and do all that people want me to do. So, I am making difficult choices and taking necessary steps to be all that God has called me to be. Nothing more, nothing less.
I cannot save my family. I cannot rescue them or anyone else for that matter. I am one person on a journey with God doing what He has called me to do. As my good friend Pastor Paul says, "Stop trying to be the Holy Ghost!", "You can't change people" such a true statement. I have been trying for years to make folks come into the kingdom. I can clearly see what needs to be done so I am going to just keep on after them until they do the right thing. I can't do it for them and I can't make them change and I sure can't be their Savior. When we constantly rescue people we become a false Savior to them and they fall fully on us and rely on us so much that it becomes burdensome to us and it cripples them emotionally and spiritually.
So, no more. This ole girl is going to do what she is called to do which is to preach this gospel of the kingdom of God in love. Showing the hurting folks that He puts into my path that there is a Savior that loves them. Introduce them to the Father that is a loving and compassionate Father that loves them with an everlasting, never ending love. I can't be their Jesus, but I can show them Jesus and point them to that cross. Yes I know how to do a bunch of different things but I am not called to do those things. When I need to teach, sing, cook, be administrative, write, whatever I can do those things but they are not the calling, they are the gifts to help push the calling forward, to reach that destiny that I was designed for.
Where all He will take me on this journey, I do not know but, what I do know is I am ready. I am ready to go wherever He says to go and to do whatever He says to do. Everything I want is not what I need or even if it is what I need, it might not be what I need at that particular moment. In this kingdom it is about His timing, not ours. I watched a video yesterday that was on facebook of a Pastor having folks jump into the jump rope. If you jump too soon, you miss it, if you wait too long, you miss it. I have been so frustrated hearing from God and wanting to jump right in and was missing it and just couldn't understand. Well.....here we go again......wait on the Lord. Just wait on the Lord. So, I will wait and while I wait I will do what I can where I am until He gives me the next directive. This is my least favorite thing, waiting. But, I will wait and I will get better and better at doing it because in this kingdom journey whatever you keep messing up on that is what you keep having to repeat so, this time I will get it right. Glory to God I surely don't want to have to repeat some things that I have been through in the last few months. Oh no Jesus, say it aint so. So, for those of you that are in that waiting mode, just know that you are not alone and it does get easier. Hang on to His promises and to the vision He has shown you and don't forget in the dark what He has clearly spoken/shown to you in the light. He is a rewarder of those that diligently seek Him and He is faithful to His word and to His promises. Wait, I say on the Lord.
